Protecting my heart

 

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I know a precious little girl that had cancer and beat it. Through her struggles the Orange out Organization was born. They do things for the children in the cancer ward and for their families. The take them goodies and just make things easier for them.

I have been making cookies for them for the better part of a year. It is one of the best things I do!

Yet I am separate from the pain. I have yet to go to the hospital to see those little kids. I don’t know if I can bear it. I know on the level that these cookies are going to little cancer patients and I know it makes them happy…. but I stay in my safe little world where I don’t see their pain and suffering. I don’t hurt so badly that way.

Yet I have been thinking more and more that I want to step out and do this for them. I know that it will cause me tears, that I will lose some of them. It is scary. I worked in a nursing home right out of high school and I know what it is like to go into work and someone you cared about is gone. At least then you can comfort yourself in saying that they lived a long full life, did all they wanted to. You can’t say that about a child.

I just think that there are a lot of things in this world that break our hearts… and if making things better for someone else ends up with your heart being broken, then at least is was for a worthy reason.

So pray for me to find my way in this, to touch others.

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