I was scheduled to start physical therapy on Tuesday but we woke up to ice and I slid around one the roads trying to get out of my neighborhood and decided to stay home. I rescheduled for this morning. They did a lot of testing to get a better idea of the movements etc. What we found out is that my right leg is now 1/2 in shorter than my left AND my left hipbone is lower than my right so there is no torque going on to explain the shortage other than that I have lost 1/2 in in the hip bone gap. There is a gap between all your joints so they don’t rub each other…. mine is getting smaller. Not great new. I have to wear a little 1/2 in lift thing in my shoes now to help that. As I said before there is nerve damage and slowness and now they say there is weakness to which I knew because sometimes a take a step and I am not sure it will hold me.
They put me in a traction machine and that was different, it didn’t hurt at the time, but it does now and things are sliding around in the low back when I bend over. Since I have two herniated disks in the low back that is making me move with great care.
Right before Christmas I got the flu like respiratory thing that is going around. I got meds and it got a little better, then it came back. I took a second round of antibiotics and more cough syrup and it got a little better again. There three nights ago I woke up with my throat on fire… I thought well maybe it is drainage. I have been drinking tea and honey and cold tea and while I drinking it is ok. It hurts to swallow. The congestion is mostly gone, it is just the throat. So I got BACK to the dr. (3rd time) and get a shot of steroids… predisone, not the stuff they were going to put in my joints. MORE anitbiotics and some lidocaine to gargle with. It seems that now I have huge blisters in my throat, certainly explains the pain and my lymph nodes are all swollen too.
I just feel defeated. I am tired of hurting and being sick. There doesn’t seem to be a light at the end of this tunnel. The one good thing is that the new nerve medicine seems to be helping a little bit with the twitching that originates from the low back.
I know that being so heavy for so long is the reason I am these issues, you can not have your body carry that sort of a burden for that long without there being consequences. I am thankful everyday that I am not that heavy. On the other hand it sucks to go through all I did/am and know that I will still be paying the price for it forever. That is the thought that causes me to be depressed. I have to remember I only have to live through one day at a time.
Thanks for letting me vent. It is easier to do it here and write it out once than to do it person by person.