Chickmo Incident report for February 6, 2013

I left facility this morning with permission to procure supplies, the inmates have been restful and well-behaved for a while so I didn’t expect anything to happen. I let them out into the play yard to socialize with the visiting inmates from another facility (the guineas that appear here every day and leave at night… I don’t know why, since MY inmates act like they are soooo abused).

When I returned from town, out on the edge of the driveway, next to the trash dumpster, and in a HIGHLY restricted area, I found 2 of the inmates! I yelled at them to get back in the play yard, but to no avail. I have found them close to this area before and simply guided them safely back into the play yard then they were dealt with in time spend in “the hole” for a few days. I got out of the car, leaving it running, the inmates IMMEDIATELY took off across the road!!!!! They have NEVER gone that route! I assess the situation as the warden is away a work today and I am the only guard outside. Sargent Felipe Navidad and Lt. Mollie Wog are on R&R in the house resort.  I look around for the other inmates (2 two red ones were missing) and saw a red one through the fence and assumed they were safe and the gang had maybe had a falling out and couldn’t decide who was the boss and the escape plan was modified to two.

I pursue the inmates and they are quite serious in their flight to freedom this time. They flee to the neighbors fence… then one squeezes under the gate then stands there and waits for the other one to do it too! I, of course,  try the gate and it is “locked” but only with a clip. I remove the clip and venture in…. slowly because the facility is rural and there are other installations around that have their own guards and I didn’t want to end up on someone ELSE’S incident report. It appears that it is a guard union holiday as their guards are not on duty. I continue in my pursuit. I am puzzled at this point why they continue to avoid me, as I have always been nice to them and I quickly see that they have simply APPEARED to like me and want me to hold them and all that jazz. I might point out I am in PAIN… I mean every single STEP PAIN. I continue to pursuit the inmates and they go through the VERY VERY wet ground that is around their gray water sprinklers…. and I can either go through (fewer steps) or around and pass out… I go through. They continue to flee but I slowly get them pointed in the right direction and I think it will be ok…. we all start back to the still running car….

At the last minutes the inmates dash to the right and run full speed across the yard…. at this point I have two thoughts. One I can not physically chase them anymore today. The other is OMG what if a KINKAJOU found a way into the play yard and has killed an inmate and the others are running scared. I decide that I must hope they have an attack of GUILT and head back to their gang sisters. I get in the car and drive back into the facility parking…. I enter the play yard to check on the situation. I see…. Red and Specklebutt (the reds) and then I see BitC and Rizzo….. the two I just chased around three acres and that ran from me like they had NEVER SEEN me!

It seems that we should note than another chicken prison has set up an operation in the neighborhood… and they have the twins of at least a COUPLE of our inmates.

Of course this COULD be an elaborate plot to replace themselves with look alikes and escape unnoticed … I recommend close supervision until this situation can be assessed. I also recommend finding out if this is simply a HEN’S prison or if they have ROOSTERS as their roaming inmates might then incite a RIOT at Chickmo.

I am requesting time off to WASH my shoes a thousand times…. thank you

This ends this incident report

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