I sweet friend had status this morning about judging people. I want to hug her. I won’t go into the details of her status she is right on some levels but there is usually more to things. We are complex people.
All of you know that there was a time not that long ago when I was what they call SUPER MORBIDLY OBESE…. ugly words, but still true. I had to have medical help but I am now a regular sized person. I have been judged on how I lost the weight. Things SPOKEN to me to that effect. I have also ASSUMED or projected my own feelings about myself on to others…. and then be upset … HOW DARE they think that about me! In reality were they EVEN thinking about me at all! Some times yes and some times no.
I always just “KNEW” that people thought I was lazy, and had no self-control, that I was a slob. Lord, the things I “KNEW” that the thought when I was eating something. Did they… there are people who did, no doubt, but not everyone.
This made me feel like a victim. This made me sad. This gave me an excuse to continue to live in a way that was not good. You know the whole… well they think that anyway then why bother….
Do people judge us? yes and I don’t care who you are, you too think fast thoughts that are judgey and not nice at times too. You may stop yourself quickly but we ALL judge.
I know that I see things from both sides of the fence, but when I DO think something about a heavy person it is 98% a kind thought. You notice there is still 2% because I am human too. Somethings are still just not ok with me… I am sorry it is the truth. When I see heavy people, I see a person that is hurting… inside. People gain 20 -30 pounds because they like food too much they don’t move as much, whatever… people that gain 200 pounds are wounded people! I can tell you that much. I know this, and that is what, I think when I see a very heavy person.
See a lot of us that are very heavy… and yes I include myself, because I still have this behavior regardless of the surgery…. we are hurt, we were abused in some way, something happened that made us ashamed, or angry, or feeling worthless … all those horrible things. When you have that inside you, you can go one of two ways. You can abuse others like you were or you can abuse yourself. Those people, they don’t see it, they don’t get it but they have chosen number two. We do not value ourselves as much as we value those around us that we love.
I guess my point here is, that a good deal of the time the things we think others are thinking about us are really what we think about ourselves and we should stop that. Honestly… what others think about us isn’t our business. If we could only project the great things on others then we could be walking down the aisle at the walmart everyone would be thinking…. dang her hair looks good! Or man she has the prettiest clothes on today!
In fact I dare you…. if you are going to project your thoughts on someone else … make it a good one! Today everyone I see is going to be thinking…. dang she is so sweet and encouraging!
So what are OTHERS going to be thinking about YOU today???