Why I am the way I am

I do not understand people.

I don’t. I probably never will.

I am a very giving person. I will go out of my way to make things better or happier for someone else.

Until they start to take advantage or expect it as the norm. Then I get mad. I get hurt. I have another little piece of my heart harden against everyone. No not everyone does this, but it does seem that I find more than my share.

I guess it is part of the me me me … I DESERVE THIS… entitlement society we live in.

How many commercials do you hear that tell you that you that you DESERVE a skinny body, or a new car, or a new house… whatever they are selling you don’t just want or need it you DESERVE it.

In the last few months I have met up against at 2 people that stand out in this department.

The bakery was the first one… I need this and this and this and this and it was like 12 orders over 6 weeks. I worked on them constantly, delivering as we agreed and I would get there and the other lady would be working and she said she couldn’t pay me. Or I got there with and order and the bakery would just be closed. I made up a bunch of cookies that she could sell just singling and after the first night she called and asked for more… after a few weeks I had to ask about them and she said she still had more.. I said THROW THEM OUT they are stale. I never got paid for those or the last two orders. They had names on them and I was stuck. I lost about a 100 bucks …. hours and hours of time and a little more trust.

After that I took down my cookie page and decided I was not cut out to be in a business and I stopped taking orders. I had 2 people contact me and I told them both that I wasn’t taking orders and one was sad but said ok. and that was that. The other one …. Way back before Easter this lady called me, she worked in my doctors office and I knew her. She wanted 50 cookies in 4 days for a shower. I usually require twos to fill an order, I wasn’t busy at the time so I did it. I stayed up half the night one night to make it happen for her and did not charge her extra. When I took them in she was happy with them and grabbed a piece of paper and yelled who wants cookies for Easter! OMG I left there with so many orders… I just should have said NO but I didn’t so that is my own fault. I worked hard that week and got them done. This was before the bakery.

Last week the above woman called me and wanted to order cookies and I told her I wasn’t taking any orders and she said ok thank you. Stupid me, I thought that was my right and privilege to say I am not doing cookies right now.First thing Tuesday morning her mother starts calling me FROM THE DR’s OFFICE! She called me NINE times and THEN she got into the patient records and got BILL’S phone number and called HIM!… a violation of the HIPPA laws. I did not answer any of these calls because I knew she was going to try to talk me into doing them and I say NO. I got later emails confirming my thoughts… “well she said you did them for her before and she would talk you into doing it JUST FOR HER” srly? not only that but she was in a bind as she had waited until less than a week before to ask ME so no one is going to do them or a bake by that weekend. Finally she sent me a text the mother… I told her look I am sorry that my no was not good enough for you, but I did indeed say NO. The daughter was like we will tell everyone not to use you… LOL I said please do I have been trying to get the word out that I am NOT TAKING ORDERS!

Jeez there it is tho…. I AM DIFFERENT… I DESERVE something… I AM AN EXCEPTION.

So another piece of my trust is gone along with another piece of my heart hardening against helping people.

I try to focus on the people that are good, where there is give and take. There are a couple of people in my life like that… I give them baked goods, and they give me eggs. I give baked goods and the farmer gives me my co op stuff on Sunday, as a favor. I NEVER EVER expect people to do anything for me. In fact sadly I am shocked when they do.

People wonder why I am the way I am and stuff like this is why. A lifetime of it.

People you only deserve what you WORK FOR.. through labor or goodwill…. remember that.



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