All the pieces

I spent some time being really angry lately. It was my constant companion. I looked around at the world and all the crap that is done and I was just angry and I tried to fix it all.

I am not angry on a daily basis anymore.

I am not sure that is a good thing or not. Anger doesn’t hurt my heart as much as trying to accept what is reality.

I stopped being angry at God and people. I stopped lashing out, and I stopped trying to take in every piece of news I could find.

When I stopped being angry I was left with a broken heart. My tears for people and this old world, the feelings of helplessness hurts so much more than being mad.

Anger is my defense mechanism. The only way I was able to cope at all with the shape of the world and of the people I see.

And of my OWN relationship with God. Yep, I am heartbroken that I am not the woman God wants me to be.

I am heartbroken that the women in this world are no longer the women that God made them to be…. the nurturers, the soft place, the loving partner to a spouse, the protective mother. They act like men, and put themselves first and do not care about the sanctity of life and the gift of a child. The men do not escape this… the are no longer the head and leaders of the family.

Everyone says the Bible and living a Godly life is just not possible in this day. They say that the Bible should be updated to reflect the modern times…. no, I am in the minority that believe that we need to go to the Bible. Before you start quoting to me that you can’t wear this and that … do this and that … that is in the Old Testament. If you are not a Christian you need to know that when Christ died the Old Testament was replaced by the New Testament. Christ dying was the ultimate sacrifice.

I am sorry I got a bit off topic there… but the point is that the further we get away from living like the Bible says we should the more mess we made of this world.  We FIGHT for perversions and death…. It hurts my heart, it breaks my heart.


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