The battle of the bulge

In January I was put on a medicine for nerve damage. After about a month it really hit me that pretty much all I wanted was something sweet… cake, pie, muffins, cookies and I never said no to bread!

Now I will NOT say that the medicine made me gain but it gave me cravings that I did not fight very hard… I am a baker and that is a BAD BAD combo. I am to blame because I CHOSE to eat those things. The saddest part of this is that it made me feel terrible! I had blood sugar drops and carbs crashes and well you know. Because of the surgery I do not do well with sugar and I don’t absorb enough of the food to be healthy if I am just eating junk.

Sooo…

Eight months later I need to lose 20 pounds. I had Bill and Sam fussing that I was too thin before and frankly Bill likes the extra weight… I have uh hum filled out.

So why is it a problem then you ask. Well first off I don’t need the extra weight on my low back and hip. That is the main reason. Then there is the whole, I refuse to buy new jeans! I LIKE my jeans and I WILL wear them this winter.  I HATE to buy jeans and pants. I am small in the waist and I have hips so.. you can guess there is a gap in the back… my normal jeans don’t do that.

The last one is .. it scares the hell out of me. I was so big and I do not want to go back there. Period. For a long time I didn’t worry about my weight I had stabilized and it was great! I was eating better food then tho, not junk.

Today is day 2 of NO SUGAR! low carb diet.  I only got through yesterday because I was distracted and sheer stubbornness. Then of course I couldn’t sleep so at 11 o clock I had to get up and have a boiled egg.

I have developed some bad habits. The WORST is laying in bed at night reading and having a snack … goldfish, grapes, whatever we happen to have. That was hard last night to not have anything.

I have never faced this really… I have no way of knowing what % of calories I absorb so I have to watch the scale to monitor the rate of loss. I was hungry a couple of times yesterday and ate eggs and cheddar so I may need to eat more often…

This is a learning thing for me. At least this time I think it is a craving thing and not a mental thing trying to hide.

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