What are you gaining?

I love watching documentaries, and I spent all day yesterday doing just that. I watched one on the Amish. I am not on the same page as they are as to theology, BUT there are some things about them that I admire. They are very accepting of God’s will, and live a life of service to others. Both of those are good of course. They are also show forgiveness… now yes, I know that you don’t really know what is in their hearts but their actions show it.

In 2006, a man went into a school that was much like a one room school-house was. Every student and the teacher were Amish.The Amish as passive people, they do not fight, and unless they are hunting they are not armed. He released all the boys, and since the Amish only go to school until the 8th grade he was left with only little girls and a teacher. All told 5 were killed and 5 injured.

The very day of the shooting a grandfather of one of the murdered little girls was telling the boys not to think evil of that man. That he had a mother, a wife, kids and a soul and was now standing in front of God. Members of the Amish community went to the homes of the killers relatives and told them that they were forgiven. In the midst of all this pain on both sides there was still love and mercy. The Amish community was ridiculed a bit, people said they forgave to quickly, and that there was no remorse shown. When Roberts (the killer) was buried 30 Amish showed up at the funeral to show love to that family.

I gave you all the back story so you can understand where I am going.

First thing I noticed was … they didn’t give the hate and anger a chance to take root before they started to show love, forgiveness and yes mercy to the family of Roberts. Second they didn’t hold his family responsible. One said the person that should remorse is dead.

One of the mothers of a dead child said, you forgive but you don’t forget. It isn’t easy but it is God’s will that we forgive. That means I give it to God and I give up any right to vengeance.

Then she said something that has really been bouncing around in my head. She said “Why should I hate him and be angry… I GAIN NOTHING FROM IT.”


So I started to think about the relationships I have that are not in good repair…. mainly family and I started to think WHAT AM I GAINING FROM THIS? hmmmm  I won’t go into it all because it isn’t relative, but I am carefully examining each bad relationship that I have and saying… What am I gaining by having this negative feelings, what am I gaining by being mad, what am I gaining by hurting them back, what am I gaining by cutting them off, and what am I gaining by being angry? Hard questions for sure.

I don’t have the answers to these yet to be honest. It is easier to hang on to being mad… I hug it to me like a child with a blanket.

I just thought that it was something that I should share as it really made my head snap up and think wow, I never thought of it that way.